Accountability

Ice is Dumb

I haven't done the Ice Bucket Challenge. Since I'm older than 5, I'm way past the demographic that falls for internet memes. But I was challenged just this morning, so my conceited attitude can go fuck of until I'm wet and frozen. Then I can go back to being better than all my friends.

Supposedly it's about raising money for ALS, a thing that kills far fewer people than heart disease, or cancer, or diabetes, or accidents. I think even sharks kill more people than ALS (fact unverified). But that's just an excuse. An excuse for impressionable youths to fit in by doing something fantastically stupid, just like all their friends. Because if you were serious about helping your fellow man, you would burn down your local McBurger or Taco Schmuck.

But for real, there are a lot of really awful things going on out there. I won't relate them all because if you read this a year from now, you'll say, "you're dumb; Obama cured war, disease and sad puppies 6 months ago." So dumping ice on your head maybe is a way to enjoy a small dose of the pain that others are feeling. Because instead of helping people, we can just assuage our guilt with mild punishment. And then we can go back to eating cheesy snacks while watching Boobflix. Just kidding, please go dump ice on yourself right now.

~Fuzzy